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Hey -- I'm in the news! [05 May 2007|05:50pm]
I don't think I've ever been mentioned in a newspaper before. And now I'm in three! Sweet! You'd think I was a mass-murderer or something, but no, all I did was write a silly little essay about Spider-Man.

Omaha World Herald

Calgary Herald

Saskatoon Star Phoenix (basically a truncated version of the article from the Calgary paper)
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[18 Aug 2006|10:28am]
Last night, at a sneak preview in Silver Spring, MD, I saw...

Snakes on a Plane!!!

And I can assure you: it's everything it promises to be. It's so terrible it's fantastic. I want to say so much, but I'll only end up giving things away, and who needs that? So, to you zeronobus, irresistiblyred, and dropsofme, go forth knowing that all is well!!
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Got a cat? Got a computer? [14 Aug 2006|01:37am]
I bought a laptop about a year ago. Recently, it's been overheating pretty quickly (which it never did before), so I took to propping it up. This evening, thinking that, as I've found cat fur between the keys, perhaps some had found its way into the ventilation system, I investigated the matter. Stopping short of removing the casing on the laptop, itself (I don't like to mess with such things), I used a handful of Q-Tips and some tweezers, and managed to pull out:

Yeah, that might explain the overheating. And there's probably still more in there (I mean, really, what are the chances I pulled it all out?). So, just a thought to those of you with pets and computers. (irresistiblyred, how many feathers are in your computer?)
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Chicklet's New Friend [12 Aug 2006|08:50am]
My cat, Chicklet, has a new friend, who has taken to feeding outside my apartment. Chicklet just sits at the window and watches him (not making the noises she makes when she watches the birdies, whose pretty little heads she wants to eat). When he inevitably hops away, she looks at me, quite sadly, and mews. I reassure her that the little bunny will return. I suspect she thinks the bunny is one of her babies from long ago.

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Piccies [13 Jul 2006|04:03pm]
irresistiblyred posted the doodle I did for her volleyball team, so I thought I'd follow up with some of the other little doodles I've done recently, for various projects (and some just for fun):

The Fatman Thought Experiment (no, really!)

Elephant Beetle

Pregnant Lotus Tattoo

Light Beer
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I'm Falling Apart [15 May 2006|12:24pm]
Okay, here are some disorders that plague my life:

Rheumatoid Arthritis -- Chronic and (it needs to be pointed out) symmetrical. This is, as most of you probably know, a painful inflammation of the joints. It's actually an immunity issue that causes the inflammation, and can go on to affect organs. This only flares up now and again, and usually it's not too bad. It'll hit my wrists, or my fingers, or my knees, or my ankles, or my toes. And it always hits both knees, or all my fingers... At one point (Lindsay will remember this), it hit everything at once. This was during a sales conference -- I couldn't walk up stairs! (Rheumatoid Arthritis affects 1% of the population, usually starts between age 40 and 60, and typically hits more women than men.)

Scoliosis -- Mild. This is a sideways curvature of the spine. I also have two fused vertebrae, and I'm sure the two things are related. Although this kept me from walking for a week when I was about 16, it doesn't hurt as often as it used to. This is a good sign, because scoliosis can be degenerative, and leave people looking like hunchbacks. (Scoliosis affects 2% of the population.)

Restless Leg Syndrome -- Chronic/Moderately Severe. RLS is a neurological disorder characterized by unpleasant sensations in the legs and an uncontrollable urge to move when at rest in an effort to relieve these feelings. RLS sensations are often described by people as burning, creeping, tugging, or like insects crawling inside the legs. It flares up every few days for me -- usually when I'm trying to fall sleep, but often in the car, at a movie theatre, on planes... It also results in my legs twitching when I sleep. This is a big contributor to my regular insomnia, which I needn't list as a separate disorder. (Restless Leg Syndrome apparently affects anywhere between 2-15% of the population.)

Things that aren't disorders, exactly, but nevertheless plague my life:

Grey hair -- This has gotten to the point that yesterday I found a grey eyelash. My freakin' eyelashes are turning grey!! Dear God!

Bad Joints -- I normally chalk this one up to having gone through my growth sprurt too quickly. I think I was about 6'0" in Grade 9. I've dislocated my knee twice, my ankle once, and my jaw once. I don't play sports much anymore -- when I do, inevitably, I end up in the hospital.

No Enamel -- I have no enamel on my teeth. This is my own damned fault, as far as I can tell -- I burned it off with an acidic diet. I could be wrong, though -- my dentist was amazed about it. Crunchy things and cold things hurt to eat. When I rinse out my mouth after brushing my teeth, I use hot water.

Floaters -- These started developing a number of years after I had laser eye surgery to correct my astigmatism, but apparently aren't directly related. Floaters are normally little specks that appear in the field of vision, and are usually only visible against a light background. I've got a couple that are quite large, and look like bugs floating around in front of me. They're always there. Sometimes I play with them (because they don't exactly track the movement of the eye -- they're located deep within the eye, not on the surface, and float around in the vitreous fluid of the eyeball). Apparently these can be a bad sign, but after they first appeared (last year), they haven't really gotten any worse.

That's about it -- maybe I'll add to the list later when I think of more such things that plague me. How about the rest of you -- what disorders or proto-disorders plague your lives??
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Words, glorious words! [12 May 2006|12:55am]
Ooh! Look! I'm at the top of the list!

http://www.oed.com/bbcwords/acknowledge.html Take that, Websters!
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Muthafuckin' Billboard [11 May 2006|07:43pm]
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Sneakers (and Chicklet) [01 May 2006|12:06am]
So, further to my earlier entry -- I'm doing some reading for my seminar on Immanuel Kant. Specifically, we're dealing with assisted suicide and euthanasia. Anyway, I hit this passage:

"Kamm speaks of "euthanizing a cat to stop its pain." Now, I have owned several cats, some of which have been in pain on occasion, and two of which were eventually euthanized. Never have I considered, nor do I think that most veterinarians would consider, euthanizing a cat for reasons taht would be summed up by the phrase "to stop its pain"--as if euthanasia were just another form of analgesia. What is usually required as justification for euthanizing an animal is that it is suffering. And anyone who has seen an animal suffer is aware of having seen it reduced to a state unworthy of it, a state that is not just unfortunate but somehow unfair, an insult supervening on its injury.

In euthanizing an animal, then, one has the sense of doing it a kindness, of course, but also of doing it justice--which is all that I would ask on behalf of persons. Of course, doing justice to a person is different from doing justice to a cat, since they are very different creatures. But the basic principle is the same: kindness must be tempered with respect."

What's really weird is, this is at least the second reference to putting down cats that I've come across, accidentally and in separate circumstances, in the past week. Each of the references has made me a little sad, but this one also made me a little happy, too. Yes, Sneakers was suffering, and yes, it was unfair, and unworthy of him. It hurts to think of it as a kindness, though.

Anyway, here's a picture of Sneakers and Chicklet in one of those few times when they met, and one of the really rare ones where they were getting along. Chicklet’s the one with the lighter fur, but it’s impressive how much Chicklet’s a smaller, lighter version of her cousin.

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Sneakers [26 Apr 2006|12:58am]
I just got an e-mail from my mom. My parents' cat has been getting sick -- basically throwing up everything he ate, and was starving to death, so they put him down. I'm really sad about it. I mean, he was old (my brother brought him home from university in about 1992, I think), but that's probably why I miss him. I have so many memories of him. Yeah, he was old, and cranky, but so am I. He used to get up every morning and sit by my father while he exercised. He used to sit in my lap. Hey used to chase the spotlight from the flashlight (even while he was old -- he was just a 'tard about it). For the past 3 or 4 years, he made his home in my old vacuum-cleaner box. He caught countless mice (and birds in the backyard -- for a fat cat, he was quite the birder). Anyway, I'm choked up about it. Here's what he looked like (in his less-than-manly pink collar):

I'm gonna cuddle my cat, now, and go to bed.
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[25 Apr 2006|12:27am]
Since you haven't seen me in a while...

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I had to buy a new bookshelf... [24 Apr 2006|08:35pm]
Okay, so it's been forever since I updated this. Let's start off slow...

Recently acquired books:

From Borders --

Campbell, Bruce: If Chins Could Kill
It's freakin' Bruce Campbell's autobiography! Bruce "The God" Campbell! I mean, shit!

Moore, Christopher: A Dirty Job
From the author of Island of the Sequined Love Nun, The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, and so many more. This guy has made me laugh my tits off so many times, you'd think I was some sort of bad D&D monster. (Am I the only one who spent hours as a 12-year-old reading the Monster Manual?) Anyway, this one's about a guy who, through no fault of his own, finds he's become Death. Yes, I know it sounds an awful lot like Dead Like Me (which was also good). I can't describe how funny this guy is, so I just won't try. Still, pick up a copy of one of his books. Unless you don't want to lose your tits. In which case, just stay away from the "M" section of the fiction section in Chapters.

???: Book of Secrets
I have no idea who wrote this. It's a plain, black, vinylly-type book with just the title on it. I know -- it sounds like something from a bad horror movie (like that sequel to Blair Witch -- but that was "Book of Shadows"). But, surprisingly, it's actually a wonderful "useless facts" book. What really grabbed me was all the information about all the abandoned subway tunnels in London and New York. Makes me think of Morlocks! But I'm a reference junkie, and this'll fit right in on my shelf.

Vaidhyanathan, Siva: Copyrights and Copywrongs
Goldstein, Paul: Copyright's Highway: From Gutenberg to the Celestial Jukebox
Koepsell, David R.: The Ontology of Cyberspace: Philosophy, Law, and the Future of Intellectual Property
Gorman & Ginsburg: Copyright: Cases and Materials, 6/e
Gorman & Ginsburg: Copyright: Cases and Materials, 2005 Case Supplement and Statutory Appendix
These, I'm sure, don't seem all that exciting. But they're research books for my dissertation. Guess what it's on.

From a book fair --

Sharpe, Tom: The Midden
I started reading Tom Sharpe when I lived in Wales. It was a tiny, little town and the local library was pretty sparse. Over two years, I simply made my way through a number of the shelves. I read every Stephen King and Dean Koontz book they had (the Kings were uneven, and often tiresomely long; the Koontzs were all the same story). And I read every Terry Pratchett book (there’s something about reading the Discworld novels while living in Wales that felt right). Then I stumbled across Tom Sharpe’s books (in particular Porterhouse Blue, Grantchester Grind, and Blott on the Landscape). I thought they were an absolute howl! So, since returning to North America, I was dismayed to discover they’re not as easy to find here. I happened across Wilt at one point, and ate it right up. So when I found The Midden at $2.00, it was a foregone conclusion.

Macdonald, Gregory: Fletch Lives
Frankly, I wasn’t even aware that Chevy Chase’s "Fletch" movies were based on books. It didn’t surprise me to find out that much, but to stumble across the ninth in the series (again, not being aware of the previous eight) was a nice find. I’ve only just started reading this one, but it’s got the same wit and staccato rhythm of the movies.

Fry, Stephen: The Hippopotamus
I haven’t read anything by Fry before, but the opening few sentences of the foreword got me: "You can’t expect an arse like me to tell a story competently. It’s all I can bloody do to work this foul machine. I’ve counted up the words processed, a thing I do every hour and, if technology can be trusted, it looks as if you’re in for 94,536 of them. Good luck to you. You asked for it, you paid me for it, you’ve got to sit through it. As the man said, I’ve suffered for my art, now it’s your turn." As it turns out, this is the beginning of a letter by the protagonist to his editor upon completion of a manuscript. As a former editor myself, I loved it already.

Marshall, Robert: The Haunted Major
I’m really not sure what to make of this one. It seems to be about a ghost and a golf tournament. Okay, perhaps not the most auspicious beginning, but I grew up around golf, and I like a good ghost story, so who knows? Besides, for $1.50 in hardcover, I figure it’s worth a shot.

Bantock, Nick: Griffin & Sabine and Sabine’s Notebook
Two volumes of the Griffin & Sabine trilogy. I’ve read these gems before (several times), and loved them, but didn’t own copies. And, having read them, I’m okay with not owning the third in the series … yet. I know it’s going to bug me so much I’ll end up running out and paying full price for the third book, just to have it. It’s just the way I am. Oddly, while I prefer the trilogy, I own a few of Bantock’s other books – A Verse to Beasts, The Forgetting Room, and The Venetian’s Wife. Strange – but problem solved, I suppose.

Straub, Peter: Houses Without Doors and The Hellfire Club
Straub’s books are kind of hit-and-miss for me. Sometimes (as with Ghost Story) they’re fantastic. At other times (and, more often, it seems), I’m so bored by his writing, I can’t make it through 20 pages without putting it down. Six months later, I’ll pick up the same books, try to make another go of it, make it through the same 20 pages, and put it back down. The second book he wrote with Stephen King, Black House, has proven quite a nemesis in this regard. Anyway, Houses Without Doors is a collection of short stories, a format that seems to work better for King than his novels, so I figured Straub might have a chance here, too. And The Hellfire Club jacket proclaims it the best since Ghost Story. Now, I’m not taken in by marketing jacket copy, but for about $2.00 for each of these in hardcover, again, I figured it was worth the gamble.

Preston, Richard: The Hot Zone and The Demon in the Freezer
I read The Hot Zone years ago, and thought it was just fantastic – a startling account of a viral outbreak (if I recall correctly, it’s Ebola). It was my mom’s copy, though, so when I saw this one at the book fair, I figured it was worth having my own copy. There was also a paperback of Preston’s follow-up, The Demon in the Freezer, focused on the Smallpox virus. At fifty cents, even if it’s not as good as its predecessor, it’s probably still worth a shot.

Free copies from the publisher of texts I’ve written back-cover copy for --

Block et al.: Fundamentals of Financial Management
Cateora et al.: International Marketing
Brealey et al.: Fundamentals of Corporate Finance
Bodie et al.: Investments
Cawsey et al.: Cases in Organizational Behaviour
Good et al.: Building a Dream
McShane: Organizational Behaviour
Kapoor et al.: Personal Finance
Hahn et al.: Focus on Health
Garrison et al.: Managerial Accounting
Lind et al.: Basic Statistics for Business & Economics
Buckwold et al.: Canadian Income Taxation
Price et al.: College Accounting
Libby et al.: Financial Accounting
Belch et al.: Advertising & Promotion
Passer et al.: Psychology: Frontiers and Applications
Santrock et al.: Life-Span Development
Hetherington et al.: Child Psychology
Jones et al.: Contemporary Management
Siklos et al.: Money, Banking, and Financial Institutions
Nicholson et al.: Linear Algebra with Applications
Sayre et al.: Principles of Microeconomics
Sayre et al.: Principles of Macroeconomics
Corrado et al.: Fundamentals of Investments
Dess et al.: Strategic Management
Ross et al.: Corporate Finance
Colander et al.: Microeconomics
Colander et al.: Macroeconomics
Langan et al.: College Writing Skills with Readings
Balderson et al.: Canadian Entrepreneurship
Hill et al.: Global Business Today
Beamish et al.: Cases in Financial Management
Noe et al.: Fundamentals of Human Resource Management
Sabin et al.: The Gregg Reference Manual
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It's a Bus Full of Stupid out there, and ain't NO ONE drivin'! [07 Apr 2004|01:17pm]
I pause in the midst of my work to reflect on how aware working in educational publishing has made me of just how monumentally stupid college students are. I'm in the middle of coordinating a peer-review of a textbook being written for students studying retailing. In response to asking if a particular chapter is suitable for his students, an instructor replies, "my students struggle with a chapter over 25 pages."


This is by no means meant as a blanket statement, and certainly doesn't apply in all cases, but wow, college is filled to the brim with 'tards. Worse still, the system seems set up to support this.

As an example, take irresistiblyred's sister. This is a girl I've met several times, and can accurately estimate to be on the same intellectual level as a toadstool. When last I saw something she wrote (this is just last year), she had trouble constructing a sentence, never mind a paragraph or (God forbid) an essay. Currently, she's pulling 80s and 90s in college. She's being hailed as the second coming. I find it difficult to believe that a girl who is probably borderline literate deserves grades like these.

As a second example, take Dumptruck, a guy at work and recent college graduate. Okay, for a horny jock, he's not a bad guy, but really... as dumb as the day is long. Yet he received award after award in college, or so I'm told. And women site this as evidence as to his apparent intellect. Astounding.

How hard is it to get into college these days? Honestly, I haven't a clue. I mean, yeah, I knew the odd dimwit in university, but most of these geniuses couldn't survive through first year. It'd be rustication, academic probation, or the road. Yet, in college, not only do they survive -- they're rewarded!

Unless you work in educational publishing or education itself, you're probably not aware of how big a range there is in your possible education, depending on where you go to school. There are all levels of introductory books, from the future MENSA candidates, right down to the semi-literate knuckle-walkers. An intro course in psychology or marketing or pretty much anything else can be taken at a HUGE range of levels. (And to be fair, some colleges use very high-level books and some universities relatively low-level books.) Just because someone has a diploma, it should not be thereby assumed that they are "educated."

Worse still, as the quote from the reviewer that started all this points out, the instructors and schools are perpetuating the system! They're actually asking for lower-level material because their kids aren't smart enough for difficult material! In my view, if they aren't bright enough to deal with difficult material, they shouldn't be getting into college in the first place!

Frankly, when Grade 13 was ended in Ontario, and we suddenly had twice as many graduates in the same year, the government shouldn't have used the SuperBuild programme to increase enrollment in colleges across the country. They should have used the opportunity to raise the bar for entry.

Yes, I hear you saying, "but you can't get anywhere without a college diploma or university degree". That's because everyone and his retarded brother already has one!! If it was more difficult to get a diploma or degree, and there were fewer people running around with them, employers wouldn't require one except in for jobs at higher than entry level.

Anyway, that's my little missive. The world is stupid. Thank you for your attention; I'll be here all week. Please remember to tip your waitress, and try the chili!
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Quizzies [03 Dec 2003|08:02am]

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[14 Aug 2003|07:04am]
Stolen from zeronobus and dropsofme...

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:fourcolours
Your haiku:i get up i come
to work and i don't update
my journal with links
Created by Grahame

Yes, this seems entirely appropriate.
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Delightful! [12 Aug 2003|04:09pm]
<td bgcolor="#000000">Username:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Zodiac Sign:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Favorite Colour:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Last Life:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Seamstress </td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Attendants at Funeral:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">42</td></tr>
Previous Life Meme by quill18
Created with quill18</a>'s MemeGen!
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Pants-splittingly good! [12 Aug 2003|03:55pm]
Okay, I'm faced with a dilemma. I few minutes ago, my boss asked me to help her out by carrying a box for her. I crouched down to pick up the box and promptly split my pants. I mean it -- I feel like the fat kid from one of those Disney just-because-you're-fat-doesn't-mean-you-can't-play-football movies. I feel like "Chunk" from Goonies. Who splits their pants these days? Anyway, I managed to carry the box to its appropriate destination (no, irresistiblyred, I don't blame you, just because the box was destined for your desk).

So, here I sit, pondering how best to get up from my chair, walk down the hall, down the stairs, and out to my car without my pretty boxers being seen. I figure my best bet is to untuck my shirt. Yeah, it's a little uncouth, but I can probably get away with it. It's 4:00, and I certainly could be leaving the office by now. (So thank goodness I didn't split my pants earlier this morning.)

I'm assuming it was just the bend I made when I went to pick up the box, but then again, maybe my ass has just been getting bigger and no one's had the heart to tell me? Lindsay, is my ass getting bigger?
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Are *You* Addicted to LiveJournal? [07 Aug 2003|07:20am]

You're a LiveJournal Newbie!

You haven't been sucked in by LiveJournal...

Maybe you haven't had an account for long -
or maybe you haven't spent enough time exploring LJ.

Don't worry - a few ego strokes thrown your way,
and you'll be hooked. Patience.

Are *You* Addicted To LiveJournal?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Wow, the site that this quiz was on was surprisingly littered with cartoon porn.
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WooHoo!! [06 Aug 2003|06:59am]
Happy Birthday, Kimmy!!
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"What Stupid LJ Quiz Am I?" [05 Aug 2003|04:48pm]
Oh, this is just GOLD!

I Am:
Take the What Stupid LiveJournal Quiz Am I? quiz!
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